Ah the male species. Some things about them will always be hard to fathom -- like how they may be well-versed in every part of a car engine, but they're stumped when it comes to operating the washing machine. Or how they always choke on the words "I love you." But most of the time, men are actually pretty simple to 'get'.
Eris Huemer is a relationship and family counselor and coach. She and her husband, Clayton Winans, are about to release their newest book, The Man-ip-ulator™ vs. The Wo-man-izer™: Everything you need to know to get the relationship you want. This power couple dishes out ten universal things you need to know about what make men tick.
1. Men have needs just like you do
Women are often considered the needier sex, but guys are have their emotional needs, too, according to Huemer and Winas. They may not readily admit it, but "men need respect, praise, interest in what they do, support, encouragement, collaboration, understanding, love, time alone, etc., etc."
2. Men need respect
Find a woman who disrepects her guy, and you'll find a man who's halfway out the door. "A man is going to find respect somewhere," say Huemer and Winas. "If she doesn't give it to him, then he is going to find it someplace else."
3. Men need praise
What's the best way to get a man to please you, whether around the house or in bed? Give his self-esteem a boost. "Men constantly need to be reminded about how great they are," say Huemer and Winas. "If you ask him to do the dishes and he doesn't do them perfectly then appreciate the fact that he actually did them, even if it is not to your exact specifications. Nagging him about how inefficient he is and how you would have done a much better job is not in your best interest."
4. Men need you to be interested in what they do
Men want to be around women who care about what they love (his job, his hobby, whatever). "You don't have to live and breathe his interests," say Huemer and Winas, "but you should understand them enough to comment." For instance, ask about his day at the office when he gets home, show your excitement for his achievements at work. If he's had a stressful day, hear him out -- you don't even have to give advice. Most of the time, he just needs a listening ear.
5. Men need support and encouragement
"If you support him, he will support you," say Huemer and Winas. When he asks you do help, do the things you can to support him. "If you encourage him with his goals and dreams, he will be a better man for it."
6. Men need collaboration
In other words, men don't want to be told what to do or how to do it. "The best thing that you can do is manipulate him into thinking that he came up with the idea," say Huemer and Winas. He likes a relationship where you work together as a team, not a relationship where you're wearing the pants.
7. Men need understanding
Men may seem to be from Mars sometimes, but they really want to be understood. "When he takes the time to actually talk to you, don't blow it off or ignore it, just listen," say Huemer and Winas. Great communication between couples is key to connecting on a deeper, stronger level.
8. Men need love (and yes, that does include sex)
We all know sex is important to a man, but "love is not just sex," say Huemer and Winas. "Love is a look, a touch, a kiss, and stroking his ego." When you are attentive to his needs, he will be more willing to pay attention to yours.
9. Men need time alone
He needs a chance to explore a hobby, hang with the guys and unwind. "Allow and encourage him to do what he does to recharge" suggest Huemer and Winas. "If you do this, the time you spend with him will be even better." Of course, if time alone includes an addiction to porn, fantasy football and video games, you may want to reconsider your choice of man.
10. Men need your attention
You may think they're not very observant, but men pay attention to how their women address their needs, because as mentioned in the first point: Men are needy.