Monday, May 24, 2010

"Does He Really Love Me?"

1. He is affectionate, and not just sexually
"Men in love can never get enough contact from the woman they love," explains Lance McKeithan, author of Understanding Men. They'll want to hold your hand, cuddle, hug and kiss -- these are basically the actions of a man in love. Don't confuse sexual touching with these displays of affection, though. "If he can't keep his hands off you but every time he touches you it turns into sex, this may not be love but lust," adds McKeithan.

2. His actions are consistent with his words
Some men are so good at whispering sweet nothings, they can make you feel on cloud nine with honeyed words alone. But "don't be fooled by his words, especially if they are contrary to his actions," cautions McKeithan. Look to his actions for the real answer. For instance, when you're down with a nasty cold, a sweet-talker will say things like "I'd trade places with you if I could, sweetheart" but then still proceed to meet with his buddies at the pub anyway. A man who truly loves you, on the other hand, thinks of your welfare every time, and acts in a thoughtful, affectionate, and selfless manner. He will cancel his night out to take care of you -- even if it means missing the Liverpool match.

3. He plans future for the two of you
A man who genuinely loves you will want to share his future with you. Period. "Just remember this. Every man you have every dated who has said he doesn't want to get married or doesn't believe in marriage, or has 'issues' with marriage, will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will never be with you," says Greg Behrendt, co-author of He's Just Not That Into You. If he's hesitant or gives excuses whenever you bring up the topic of marriage, he doesn't love you enough to want to settle down with you. Move on as quickly as you can.

4. He loves to make you happy
A man in love makes you feel loved. He won't compare you with his ex. He won't openly flirt with other women to make you jealous. He's great to be around and he loves to make you smile. Men in love don't have excuses for why they can't find ways -- they don't need to be nagged to do this or bribed to do that. "If you're with a man who puts up a fight when it comes to doing something that will bring a smile to your face, he's probably with you only for sex," explains McKeithan.

5. He loves spending time with you
You can easily spot a man in love through his attitude. "If he loves you, he wants to spend time with you, and everything you do together is a pleasure, not a chore," says McKeithan. You can be watching DVD re-runs for the tenth time on weekends, running errands together, or some other less-than-fun activities, but he still enjoys your company.

6. He is not easily annoyed by you
"Even when you break his favorite mug he is more concerned with your well being than a few shards of porcelain," reveals McKeithan. That's not to say that he's a pushover, but he is certainly not a man who is easily annoyed, angered, or agitated by the things/mistakes/accidents you do.

7. He is emotionally available
A man in love should be able to love you freely, meaning he must not be already married or engaged to another women or otherwise emotionally unavailable.

"No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot full and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing," says Behrendt. What you're getting from him is scraps and it doesn't bother him that he's short-changing you. Do you call that real love? Not to mention that he's okay with cheating. He may be in it for the sex or the thrill -- but certainly not for love.


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