Monday, January 12, 2009

5 type of guys you should never date

If you find yourself having a series of bad luck with men, don't blame your luck just yet – you've probably been getting into a relationship with the wrong guy. Spare yourself the potential heartache: Lisa Helmanis, author of Master Dating, identifies five "bad-news boys" you should never get involved with.

1. Married men
It’s obvious why dating married men is a bad idea. Falling in love with a guy who already belongs to someone else entails countless painful sacrifices on your part: You cannot have him all for yourself, you have to keep your affair a secret, you can’t be seen together in public, and he can only call you when he can find the time away from his family and friends. Not to mention all the potential stigmas that could plague you if your relationship is exposed.

And you have to recognize the real possibility that after all that you've gone through for him, he’s not even contemplating on leaving his wife. "Although some people do find the love of their lives whilst they are still with someone else, a good rule of thumb is that if someone doesn’t leave their marriage within six months, they probably never will," says Helmanis.

The only married man worth considering? He’s the one who tells you to leave him alone and he’ll find you if/when he leaves his marriage, Helmanis adds.

2. Dominator
This guy takes an interest in everything you do, from the way you dress, who's in your phone list, the way you arrange your room to how your friends treat you.

At first it may feel wonderful to have this attentive man who genuinely cares about what's going on in your life, "but pretty soon he is telling you that you fold the laundry wrong (although he never does any) and that your best friend is boring (he doesn't like anyone else to have any influence)," warns Helmanis.

A control freak can be extremely charming in a new relationship, but once he feels secure he starts to become pushy and controlling. And unless he can control the other person, he fears he will lose her or that his own life will become chaotic. His tyrannical behavior soon makes life miserable for his partner.

"Being a control freak is not about love, although he’ll tell you it is: It’s about power," says Helmanis, "Leave, before your confidence does."

3. Broken Heart
He's the guy who seems so sensitive and caring when you first met and tells you the heart-wrenching story of his past broken relationship. And soon you’ll find out that he's still nursing a broken heart from the relationship he had with someone ten years ago. "Basically, you’re transitional woman in a nurse's uniform," says Helmanis.

Face it, if he lives in a haze of self-indulgent gloom and loves the drama of his own misery, you’ll never get through no matter how much time you spend trying to mend his broken heart. So give up and get going.

4. Smoothie
He's suave, sports designer suits, has a glitzy social life, owns an expensive apartment and zips around town in a flashy convertible. He loves lavishing women with lots of attention, and has you feeling like a princess with his constant showers of gifts, flowers and exotic dinners.

Problem is, you may not be the only chick in this Casanova's life. Men like that are very likely to be a misogynist, warns Helmanis, "He can't see past the skirt to one special individual."

5. The Drain
You'll recognize a Drain because this guy constantly saps you – emotionally, financially and/or physically. He hates his life, can't stop complaining about his job, blames everyone else for his own laziness, and essentially relies on you to bolster his poor self-image.

"Other Drains include men who always seem to be borrowing money because they have maxed out their credit cards, who lose their temper over nothing and use you as an emotional punchbag," says Helmanis. Guys like that are really nothing more than selfish, spoiled whiners who don’t understand the concept of responsibility or self-respect. Get them out of your life and lock the doors.

No comments: