very amazing. try it.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Crazy little deed called LOVE
Jeff Green is a 32 year old American, in Arizona , whose wife passed away.
Due to the grief he suffered at her death, he did something totally out of character for a normal and sane person.
He said, "I could no longer take the pain that my wife's death causedme and so I brought her back home."
His wife, Lucy, was born with a heart condition that cut her life short at the young age of 29. Lucy's last words to Jeff were, "We will meetagain in heaven.", but these words were of no consolation in Jeff's despair.
At the funeral, in an act of desperation, Jeff decided that he would not let Lucy leave him.
"I called the cemetery caretaker and explained my feelings." he said later,"I spoke with the authorities and got special permission to take my wifehome with me. They thought it strange, but I was allowed to take her with me. I'd rather have her at home than six feet under ground. Lucy had agreat sense of humour and I'm sure she would appreciate being mycoffee table."
Jeff ordered a special hermetically sealed glass case that eliminates the decomposition of a dead body. "It cost me about $6,000.00, but itwas worth it.."Some of his friends and relatives, filled with fear, stopped visitinghim, but his true friends respected his decision and continue coming over.
Some even comment that it makes a nice piece of furniture.
USEFUL SURVIVAL TIPS @ THE WORKPLACE
LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, theycome across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says :" Normally, one is granted three wishes, but as you are three, I will allow one wish each. "
So the eager senior manager shouted : " I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pfufffff .... and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted : " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."
Pfufffff .... And he was also gone.
The boss calmly said : " I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.30 pm. "
MORAL OF THE STORY : ALWAYS LET THE BOSS SPEAK FIRST
LESSON 2
Woman shredding receipts in paper shredder, Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, " Listen," said the CEO, " this is a very sensitive and importan document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent! " said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. " I just need one copy. "
LESSON # 2 : NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING
LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked " What kind of -ese are you ?
"The Japanese, confused, replied : "Sorry, but I don't understand what you mean.
"The American repeated : " What kind of -ese are you ? "
Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled : " What kind of -ese are you... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc......??? "
The Japanese then replied : " Oh, I am a Japanese. "
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled : "What do you mean what kind of -kee' am I ?! "
The Japanese said, " Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee ? "
LESSON No 3 : NEVER INSULT ANYONE
---------------------------------------------
LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys --- a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who together found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said :" Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true. "
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted : "Wine ! "
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine.
The Frenchman was very happy, swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn.
He did the same and shouted : " Vodka! " and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted : " Beer ! "
He was likewise very contented with his beer-filled pool.
The last is the American.
He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel.
He slipped towards the pool and shouted, " Shit !!!!!!!........."
LESSON # 4 : ALWAYS THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN
---------------------------------------------
LESSON 5
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up. Brain......I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood......I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food for the brain.
Legs.......I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes.......I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS AN ASSHOLE THAT IS TRULY IN CHARGE
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, theycome across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says :" Normally, one is granted three wishes, but as you are three, I will allow one wish each. "
So the eager senior manager shouted : " I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries."
Pfufffff .... and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted : " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."
Pfufffff .... And he was also gone.
The boss calmly said : " I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.30 pm. "
MORAL OF THE STORY : ALWAYS LET THE BOSS SPEAK FIRST
---------------------------------------------
LESSON 2
Woman shredding receipts in paper shredder, Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, " Listen," said the CEO, " this is a very sensitive and importan document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent! " said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. " I just need one copy. "
LESSON # 2 : NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING
---------------------------------------------
LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked " What kind of -ese are you ?
"The Japanese, confused, replied : "Sorry, but I don't understand what you mean.
"The American repeated : " What kind of -ese are you ? "
Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled : " What kind of -ese are you... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc......??? "
The Japanese then replied : " Oh, I am a Japanese. "
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled : "What do you mean what kind of -kee' am I ?! "
The Japanese said, " Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee ? "
LESSON No 3 : NEVER INSULT ANYONE
---------------------------------------------
LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys --- a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who together found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said :" Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true. "
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted : "Wine ! "
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine.
The Frenchman was very happy, swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn.
He did the same and shouted : " Vodka! " and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted : " Beer ! "
He was likewise very contented with his beer-filled pool.
The last is the American.
He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel.
He slipped towards the pool and shouted, " Shit !!!!!!!........."
LESSON # 4 : ALWAYS THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN
---------------------------------------------
LESSON 5
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up. Brain......I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood......I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food for the brain.
Legs.......I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes.......I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS AN ASSHOLE THAT IS TRULY IN CHARGE
Opt out of Organ Transplant Act
This email serves to spread awareness of the current law, regulations about Human Organ Transplant Act (HOTA), which many Singaporeans out there don't know about. Or rather, bochap about the current happenings and believe the media fully, and trust the law and system fully.
The Human Organ Transplant act (HOTA 1987) applies to ALL Singaporean and PRs, except Muslims, that upon the event of permanent incapacitation, the doctors have the right to remove your organs if u in coma . and it is useless even if your family cry n beg.. Means when u still breathing, but haven't wake up, doctors have right to remove your organs, under this law...
Recently, a Singaporean was in coma, and doctors forced to remove his organ, while his family cry and beg the doctors to wait for him to wake up, but doctors refused and called the police to come and stop them from begging and making a scene.
See here: QianXianZhuiZhong, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qO5tHz_O50 . (See 1st 5mins will do)
There were unconfirmed rumours that the organ was used for a relative of an "important gahmen personnel elite."
However, there is a choice which u can OPT OUT of this law, by signing the form here, http://www.moh.gov.sg/cmaweb/attachments/publication/OptOutForm020704.pdf and mail back to SGH.
Life is short and valuable, and i believe in miracles which has indeed happened in many countries before. Lets not have a bochap attitude, fully trusting the local governing system n I hope u can consider opting out of this law, just for the sake of your family who loves you dearly.
Great Deals for Food lovers at Kupon.com.sg
Please go to : http://www.kupon.com.sg/ for plenty of good deals for meals...
Closing of AdSense Referrals
AdSense Referrals program will be retiring with effect 31 August.
Here are some alternative options to consider:
* Google Affiliate Network: As part of the integration of DoubleClick, the DoubleClick Performics Affiliate Network will nowoperate as the Google Affiliate Network for advertisers targeting users located in the United States. Similar to the AdSenseReferrals program, the Google Affiliate Network enables publishers to apply for advertiser programs and get paid based onadvertiser-defined actions instead of clicks or impressions.For further details, please visit: http://www.google.com/ads/affiliatenetwork.
* AdSense for content ads: If you have less than three AdSense for content ad units on a page, you may wish to replace the referral ad units with standard AFC ad units. If you currently use referral ads, either to promote Google products or offerings from AdWords advertisers, AdSense Referrals code will no longer display ads beginning the last week of August. We encourage you to take the following steps before the product is retired:
* Remove the referral code from your site(s): Please take a moment to remove all referral code from your sites before the last week of August, so you can continue to effectively monetize your ad space.
* Run and save all referrals reports on your desktop: Create and save all reports related to the referrals program on yourdesktop, so you continue to have access to your valuable campaign informationWhy is this happening?We're constantly looking for ways to improve AdSense by developing and supporting features which drive the best monetization results for our publishers. Sometimes, this requires retiring existing features so we can focus our efforts on the ones that will be most effective in the long term. For this reason, we will be retiring the AdSense Referrals program.
If you have any additional questions, please visit our Help Center: http://www.google.com/adsense/support/bin/topic.py?topic=14882
Source: http://www.google.com/adsense/
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