Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Application for Mediacorp Programme - Buffet Buffet
For each episode, we will have tasters going down with us, who will further comment according to ambience, food variety, quality and service.
For that, we need tasters regardless of gender and age to join us.
If you are interested and fit the requirement below, please fill in this application form and email back to amandahong@mediacorp.com.sg with your photo.
- Knows how to appreciate food
- Able to speak in Mandarin in front of the camera.
- Not camera shy.
WHY I LOVE MOM
Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button
She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.
She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.
She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.
Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, ! brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.
Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.
She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.
About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed."
And he did...without another thought.
Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women
live longer...?
CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL..... (and we can't die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!)
Just for laugh - the letter "T"
young husband constant demands for sex, decides to
make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of
times that they will have to make love for the
rest of their marriage.
While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of
paper, "Honey,you know I love you, but your never
ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and
really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on
days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the
frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at
me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and
let me know if my request is too demanding of you."
On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator
magnet and sticks the note to the fridge
door,hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding
and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.
Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator
and notices that her note has been replaced with a
note from her husband that reads,"Baby, I didn't'
realise that I was putting you under so much pressure
and I'm sorry.I accept your proposal and have even
taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this
letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to
make sure that we are on the same page.
1. TUESDAY
2. THURSDAY
3. TODAY
4. TOMORROW
P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I
am waiting for you upstairs."
Conversation between a Professor & his student
Professor : You are a Muslim, aren't you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Prof. : So you believe in God?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Prof. : Is God good?
Student : Sure.
Prof. : Is God all-powerful?
Student : Yes.
Prof. : My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm? (Student is silent.)
Prof. : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student : Yes.
Prof. : Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Prof. : Where does Satan come from?
Student : From...God...
Prof. : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Prof. : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Prof. : So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof. : Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred?Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Prof. : So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof. : Science says you have 5 senses you use toidentify and observe the world
around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student : No, sir.
Prof. : Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student : No, sir.
Prof. : Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof. : Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Prof. : According to empirical, testable,demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof. : Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof. : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof. : Yes.
Student : No sir. There isn't
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof. : Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light.... But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness, darker, wouldn't you?
Prof. : So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof. : Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death, as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor.
Do you teach your students that they evolved (Student is from a monkey?)
Professor. : If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realise where the argument is going.)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class is in uproar.)
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student : Is there anyone here, who has ever heard the Professor's brain,
felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So,according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect,sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof. : I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir. The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
Don't eat too much rice
The human body was never meant to consume rice! You see, our genes have hardly changed in more than 30,000 years. However, our food choices and lifestyle have changed dramatically. The caveman would hardly recognize our food or way of life.
Caveman food was never cooked as fire was not yet tamed. Thus, he ate only those foods that you can eat without treatment with or by fire. He ate fruits, vegetables, fish (sushi anyone?), eggs, nuts and meat. Yes, even meat. You can even eat meat raw if you were starving in the forest. You have the necessary enzymes to digest meat.
However, rice, like wheat and corn, cannot be eaten raw. It must be cooked. Even if you were starving i n the desert, you cannot eat rice in the raw form. This is because we do not have the system of enzymes to break rice down. You were never meant to eat rice. To make matters worse, you not only eat rice, but also make it the bulk of your food.
In some parts of Asia , rice forms up to 85% of the plate. Even if you take rice, keep it to a minimum. Remember, it is only for your tongue - not your body. Actually, rice and other grains like wheat and corn are actually worse than sugar. There are many reasons:
Rice becomes sugar - lots of it
This is a fact that no nutritionist can deny: rice is chemically no different from sugar. One bowl of cooked rice is the caloric equal of 10 teaspoons of sugar. This does not matter whether it is white, brown or herbal rice. Brown rice is richer in fibre, some B vitamins and minerals but it is still the caloric equal of 10 teaspoons of sugar. To get the same 10 teaspoons of sugar, you need to consume lots of kangkong - 10 bowls of it.
Rice is digested to become sugar.
Rice cannot be digested before it is thoroughly cooked. However, when thoroughly cooked, it becomes sugar and spikes circulating blood sugar within half an hour - almost as quickly as it would if you took a sugar candy. Rice is very low in the "rainbow of anti-oxidants"
This complete anti-oxidant rainbow is necessary for the effective and safe utilisation of sugar. Fruits come with a sugar called fructose. However, they are not empty calories as the fruit is packed with a whole host of other nu trients that help its proper assimilation and digestion.
Rice has no fibre. The fibre of the ka ngkong fills you up long before your
blood sugar spikes. This is because the fibre bulks and fills up your stomach. Since white rice has no fibre, you end up eating lots of "calorie dense" food before you get filled up. Brown rice has more fibre but still the same amount of sugar.
Rice is tasteless - Sugar is sweet. There is only so much that you can eat at one sitting. How many teaspoons of sugar can you eat before you feel like throwing up? Could you imagine eating 10 teaspoons of sugar in one seating?
Rice is always the main part of the meal - While sugar may fill your dessert or sweeten your coffee, it will never be the main part of any meal. You could eat maybe two to three teaspoons of sugar at one meal. However, you could easily eat the equal value of two to three bowls (20 - 30 teaspoons) of sugar in one meal. I am always amused when I see someone eat sometimes five bowls of rice (equals 50 teas poons of sugar) and then asks for tea tarik kurang manis!
There is no real "built in" mechanism for us to prevent overeating of rice
How much kangkong can you eat? How much fried chicken can you eat? How much steamed fish can you eat? Think about that! In one seating, you cannot take lots of chicken, fish or cucumber, but you can take lots of rice. Eating rice causes you to eat more salt.
As rice is tasteless, you tend to consume more salt - another villain when it comes to high blood pressure. You tend to take more curry that has salt to help flavor rice. We also tend to consume more ketchup and soy sauce which are also rich in salt.
Eating rice causes you to drink less water. The more rice you eat, the less water you will drink as there is no mechanism to prevent the overeating of rice. Rice, wheat and corn come hidden in our daily food. As rice is tasteless, it tends to end up in other foods that subs titute rice like rice flour, noodles and bread. We tend to eat the hidden forms which still get digested into sugar. Rice, even when cooked, is difficult to digest
Can't eat raw rice? Try eating rice half cooked. Contrary to popular belief, rice is very difficult to digest. It is "heavy stuff". If you have problems with digestion, try skipping rice for a few days. You will be amazed at how the problem will just go away.
Rice prevents the absorption of several vitamins and minerals. Rice when taken in bulk will reduce the absorption of vital nutrients like zinc, iron and the B vitamins.
Are you a rice addict? Going rice-less may not be easy but you can go rice-less. Eating less rice could be lot easier than you think. Here are some strategies that you can pursue in your quest to eat less rice:
Eat less rice - Cut your rice by half. Barry Sears, author of the Zone Diet, advises "eating rice like spice".
Instead, increase your fruits and vegetables.
Take more lean meats and fish.
You can even take more eggs and nuts.
Have "riceless" meals. Take no rice or wheat at say, breakfast. Go for eggs instead.
Go on "riceless" days - Go "western" once a week.
Take no rice and breads for one day every week. That can't be too difficult. Appreciate the richness of your food. Go for taste, colors and smells . Make eating a culinary delight. Enjoy your food in the original flavors.
Avoid the salt shaker or ketchup. You will automatically eat less rice.
Eat your fruit dessert before your meals.
The fibre rich fruits will "bulk up" in your stomach. Thus, you will eat less rice and more fruits.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
DO YOU FLY QANTAS ? (Humour)
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots ( marked with a P ) and the solutions recorded ( marked with an S ) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
+++
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
+++
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
+++
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
+++
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
+++
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
+++
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
+++
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
+++
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
+++
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
+++
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
+++
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
+++
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
+++
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
+++
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Friday, September 12, 2008
The 10 Love Mistakes Women Make With Men...
Here Are The Top Reasons Why Women Cheat Themselves Out Of Living The Love Life Of They're Dreams- And How To Make Sure You Avoid Every One Of Them...
Mistake #1) Betting Your Love-Life On His "Potential"
Do you know any women who want the man they're dating to behave differently?
Of course you do.
And just like me, I'm sure you have friends who date guys who don't have much going for them or who don't treat them very well.
Somehow these women always have an excuse for the guy's shortcomings.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple.
Women (and men) don't base their choices of men on how "nice" or "good" someone is to them day-to-day.
Women choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Some women will continue to put up with a guy that doesn't treat them very well.
Sometimes for months or years...
But why in the world would a woman do that!?
Well, to put it simply, they confuse the strong attraction they feel for the guy with a deeper "connection".
Women who do this are doomed to end up in failed relationships with the "wrong" guys.
How do I know?
Because I've seen it at least a hundred times...
And because I've been this guy in the past myself.
Thinking back on past dating and relationships I've had, I was selfish and didn't offer much.
I'm amazed the women put up with me.
But they did...all the while hoping that I would somehow change.
The women I dated hoped I'd change.
The only thing they saw in me that led them to want to keep me around was the "potential" they saw in me to share my feelings and communicate with them.
The potential for something better and the potential for me to change and be a better lover, boyfriend, companion or whatever...
The truth was, I was hopelessly bad at these things at the time.
And more importantly, I wasn't even at a place in my life where I knew how to or was interested in developing a deep and committed relationship - with ANYONE.
But deep down these women believed that if they tried hard enough, that it would make upfor what was lacking.
They believed that I could become someone else with them.... and that this would be easy for us both.
Talk about a losing battle.
I doesn't make a lot of "logical" sense...
But until you accept that lots of women do this AND that YOU could be doing it on some level, you'll NEVER have the success with men that you choose and want.
Mistake #2) Assuming You "Get" Men & Their Psychology
Men are different from women.
You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.
When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him.
Lot's of women don't even consciously see that they do this because the process is so obvious and simple for them.
But does the same apply for men?
As you probably already know, men are generally more visual.
As a result, they often don't understand non-verbal communication as well as women.
And men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and "intuition".
Women don't seem to remember this about men.
So do men feel sexually attracted to w0men based just on looks? Or is something else going on?
Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, I can tell you that men have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.
Especially when it comes to longer term relationships.
Looks just happen to be the most obvious way...
But looks are NOT the most powerful.
If you know how to use your body language AND communication correctly, you can make men feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see that hot, great looking guy that you got to know.
But it's not an accident.
You have to LEARN how to do this.
And ANY woman can learn how...
Mistake #3) Pretending To Be Something For A Man
In the desire to please a man, women are constantly doing things to get a man's attention, to get him to like them or to make him more attracted or in love with them.
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guys attention will make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them.
Wrong.
Men YOU TRULY WANT are never attracted to the types of women who kiss up to them, make weak plays for affection or complain to get what they want... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here. Things like being sexy for a man or encouraging him to share his feelings can be good, but it has to be genuine, unselfish, and most of all timely.
You don't have to act like an "easy" woman for men to like you, and you certainly don't have to play like he's some gift to the Earth.
Doing these things actually works to subtly, at an subconscious level, lower your social status with a man, which has EVERYTHING to do with how he sees you as a woman.
So if you think that making him more attracted to you means "playing to the man's fantasies" from the start, think again.
You'll never succeed by looking for a man's approval, finding your way into his heart through sex and not being yourself.
Mistake #4) Sharing How You "Feel" Too Early With Him
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
Listen...
Attractive, single, successful men are rare.
They get a LOT of attention from women.
Most women don't realize this, but attractive men are being approached in one way or another all the time by women.
And guess what?
Attractive wen have usually dated a lot of women.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive men off and sends him running away faster than just about anything...
It's a woman who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
This signals to the man that you're just like one of those "clingy" stereotype women who want to rush into a relationship and can't control yourself from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives.
This does NOT spell ATTRACTION for a man.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way...
Mistake #5) Misreading The Important "Signals" That Men Send
Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves.
Most women don't pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.
The signals men send have 4 main levels:
1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life - stability, confidence, direction
2) Emotional: Whether or not he's "emotionally available"
3) Physical: If he's attracted to you and for what reasons
4) Love State: If he's open to building and growing a relationship in the future
The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident.
That's great news to women....
Men can't help it!
You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere with a man.
Mistake #6) Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man's Character
People aren't easy to figure out.
Especially the opposite sex.
The last several years of my life I've spent hundreds of hours learning to understand people.
I've studied peoples behavior, "inner psychology" and more specifically how they think and act when they're dating.
From what I've seen, both men and women have their own secret ways of saying things.
But you can only see these secret communications if you know what to look for.
Women communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm, and flirting when they're first getting to know a man.
They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they're open to something more serious.
Men are different.
Men generally communicate with sarcasm, humor, cockyness and other "indirect" displays of status.
Very rarely will a man be able to honestly communicate to a woman whether or not he's ready or capable of developing a meaningful relationship.
Aside from their sexual interests, men send very indirect signals about where they're at.
If you don't know how to read through the signals men send, then you'll get the wrong message.
Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around.
You can avoid this pain if you learn to indentify a good man from a bad one.
Mistake #7) Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy
A mistake I've seen women make is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled.
And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens.
But those are the exceptions, not the rule.
Nothing says "Run!" to a man faster than hearing or sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her.
And the men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren't exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there.
Think, "controlling, macho or serious Mom Issues!"
So let me be clear....
I think it's important that people help fulfill each other in their lives, whether it's dating, a relationship, etc.
But if a woman communicates that she's looking for a guy to take care of her, complete her, make her whole, and all that kind of stuff - it has a VERY negative effect on what the man will think of her.
It doesn't have to be spoken by the woman either...
If a woman thinks or feels this way, the man will see it and pick up on it, regardless.
This is arguably the worst thing a woman can do early on when dating a man.
So what can you do as a woman?
You can get the man interested and involved in your life in a more "natural" way, where he'll be motivated to make you care about your happiness and fulfillment on his own.
This is the only way it really works for people - male or female.
Self-motivation is much stronger than external motivation.
But you have to know how to create this situation with a man....and it rarely happens by accident.
Mistake #8) Trying To "Convince" Him To Like You Or Love You
What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like... but he's just not that interested or isn't as serious?
Right! They try to "convince" the man to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you...
YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, ever.
You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a man doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being "reasonable" with him?
But we all do it.
Men are the worst at this by the way.
They're always complimenting women who don't like them and buying them gifts.
Women like the behavior sometimes, but it NEVER makes the woman like the man.
She might enjoy what she gets out of it, but it doesn't change the way she FEELS about him.
When a man just isn't interested, women will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches.
Bad idea. Another one that will never work.
Mistake #9) Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation
A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman...
And I don't mean just sex.
I know, it might be hard to believe, but if you're out on a date with a man, he already has an idea of what he wants from you.
And if you don't know HOW to find this out, and you just sit there looking at him and flirting, or trying things you think will make him want you, he won't help!
If you don't know what to do in each situation, you'll probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.
Mistake #10) Not Getting Help
This is the biggest mistake of all.
This mistake keeps women from EVER having the kind of success and finding the kind of man and relationship that they truly want.
http://www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com/e/10072/eBook
LITTLE BOY
Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?"
The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."
Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?"
The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son?
One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.
"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked.
Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally. The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using
it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."
Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's
belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:
"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day.
Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? ! Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him.
Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He
was right there, as He always is with all His children.
Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool?
I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery!
How about that?
Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.
Life on a Train
Very vivid and beautiful. About 3 minutes.
http://tentacool.net/misc/others/life_on_a_train2.pps
Cancer News from Johns Hopkins
No plastic containers in micro.
No water bottles in freezer.
No plastic wrap in micro.
Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
Dioxin chemicals cause cancer, especially breast cancer.
Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies.
Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this release dioxins from the plastic.
Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program manager at Castle Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us.
He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This applies to foods that contain fat.
He said that the combination of fat, high heat and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body.
Instead, he recommends using glass, Corning Ware, or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin.
So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc.
He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons. Also, he pointed out that Saran wrap is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.
Google's office
http://tentacool.net/misc/others/GoogleOffice.doc
birthday months
pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.
----------FEBRUARY--------------------
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
-----------------MARCH--------------------
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.
------------------APRIL-------------------
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. hott but has brains.
-----------------MAY-----------------
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.
------------JUNE-------------
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself
- heck, you've got the looks for it!!!
----------------JULY--------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
------------AUGUST---------------
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.
------------SEPTEMBER---------------
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.
---------------OCTOBER-------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the
hottest AND sexiest of them all.
---------------NOVEMBER--------------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.
---------------DECEMBER---------------
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music.
7 dont's after a meal
* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal.
* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.
* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.
* Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.
* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.
* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.
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Life Cycle... Interesting
File For Claims
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Why Am I Married?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.'
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all..
First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'
The blind man replies, 'If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
MAGGOTS FOUND IN MC DONALD'S CURRY SAUCE
When i got home, which was a short 2 mins ride, TO MY HORROR, when i opened the packet of curry sauce, i was greeted with a "smell" and there were many tiny maggots crawling inside with a portion of the curry sauce which have turned black and harden and possibly rotting.
I wrote in to feedback to Macdonalds the same night, and this morning (4 Sep) i had a call from a Business Manager apologising for this encounter, the first thing she asked was if i had kept the packet of curry sauce! The maggots were crawling out, obviously i had it disposed as soon as i took the photos, and in our conversation she also mentioned that this is not isolated to the outlet at Compasspoint! It was island wide as it could be a supplier problem. I think it is ridiculous! She also told me there were a few complaints already.
Shouldn't they stop giving out curry sauce while pending investigation? It was "fortunate" for me that the rotting and maggots were visible. For those packets which have not turned black may have maggots swimming in the sauce which is not known to the consumer. I asked her if they do check the expiry date of the sauces, she mentioned that the turnover for curry sauce is very high thus unlikely it would hit past the expiry date. Then my question is, if it is not even past its expiry date and it is rotting with maggots, what's going on???
This just serves as a warning to fellow Macdonalds consumers to watch out before dipping your food into curry sauce, you may not know what is swimming and growing in there...
Close up shots
Stmopcast: Rats fall from ceiling of restaurant: Source of rats being investigated, says McDonalds (Tampines)
Posted on 09 Sep, 2008 11:50
Rats fall from ceiling of restaurant: Source of rats being investigated, says McDonalds
On September 8, STOMP received an e-mail from STOMPer Nightwind about his encounter that involved rats falling from the ceiling of a Tampines branch of McDonald's.
In the original e-mail, Nightwind says:
“At about 9.30pm today, September 6 2008, I was at the 24-hour Mcdonald's outlet located at Tampines Central 1 Blk 513, between Tampines Bus Interchange and CPF building, when rats started falling from the holes in the false ceiling.
“Initially it was just a group of about five or six teenage girls who started exclaiming and screaming in the direction of my table.
“My friends and I thought that maybe a cat wandered into the restaurant and we started looking around.
“The intermittent screaming also attracted the stares of surrounding patrons.
“My friends started noticing small black objects falling from the ceiling.
“It’s then that two rats fell from the ceiling behind me and landed on the floor inches away from me. More screaming.
“Everyone then quickly cleared the area under the false ceiling.
“The teenage girls -- still screaming -- quickly left the restaurant.
“More than half a dozen baby rats fell from the ceiling and were scurrying everywhere.
“The McDonald's staff scrambled to chase after the rats.
“They were also trying to assure everyone that there were no more rats in the ceiling.
“The manager and staff quickly caught several of the baby rats, and took them outside the restaurant, presumably to throw them onto the grass patches.
“They continued to assure everyone that there were no more rats, and that's when another baby rat poked out from one of the ceiling holes.
“I took a picture with my phone at this time, though the rat cannot be clearly seen.
“The manager climbed onto a chair and tried to hit the baby rat to dislodge it, and the rat fell onto the floor stunned.
“He then picked up the rat and ran outside. The rest of the staff quickly caught the rest of the rats and removed them from the premises.
“Failing to convince anyone that there are no more rats in the ceiling, the staff then put up notices not to occupy those seats, and started taping black plastic bags to the ceiling holes.
“Many patrons were puzzled regarding the ‘reserved seats’ and the covered holes in the ceiling.
“McDonald's did not provide any explanation, try to talk to any of the patrons, or make any further effort to prevent anyone from occupying the seats beneath the false ceiling.
“They basically tried to pretend that nothing ever happened.
“By the time I left, about 1 hour 30 minutes after the ‘rat fallout’, several of the taped up black bags were already starting to fall off.
“I think that McDonald's is rather irresponsible in that they had no guarantee that no rats were going to be falling from their ceiling again, letting people sit beneath the ceiling holes.
“I've had some experience with dealing with rats from my army days, and seeing that all the rats that fell are baby rats, there's probably a whole infestation of rats in the ceiling.
“So I am very sure there are more rats in there.
“Following the incident, I have made a call to NEA and The New Paper.
“As I patronise this outlet frequently, I hope they can clean up soon.
“I shudder to think of rats falling on my head next time."
STOMP has since contacted McDonald's regarding the issue and in a response dated September 9, Linda Ming, a Senior Communications Manager for the company, says:
"We refer to your query dated 8 September 2008, prompted by a customer email on rodents falling from the ceiling.
"At McDonald’s, we are committed to providing our customers with an enjoyable dining experience in a clean and safe environment.
"Cleanliness is one of the basic fundamentals that we never compromise on in this business.
"Apart from rigorous daily cleaning and regular maintenance and checks, we also work very closely with the relevant agencies and community to maintain the highest standards of cleanliness in our restaurants and trading area.
"We have investigated the incident with representatives from the Tampines Town Council and the National Environment Agency (NEA). As the ceiling area is not exclusive to McDonald’s, the Town Council will be working closely with NEA to trace and eliminate the source of the problem.
"Additionally, to ensure the incident will not recur in our restaurant, we are taking immediate steps to seal up access to the ceiling above the restaurant.
"The situation is the first and an isolated one.
"Please be assured that we will continue to co-operate with the Town Council and NEA to monitor the situation very closely".
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Monday, September 8, 2008
Life is Beautiful
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some
words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how
things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'
The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'
What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.
Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and eradicate the fear.
Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
Have a Blessed Day!
Horoscopes... funny!
妈妈经常叮嘱羊羊: '穿裙子时不可以荡秋千;不然,会被小男生看到里面的小内裤哦!'
有一天,羊羊高兴地对妈妈说:' 今天我和小明比赛荡秋千,我赢了! '
妈妈生气地说: '不是告诉过你吗?穿裙子时不要荡秋千!'
羊羊骄傲地说:' 可是我好聪明哦!我把里面的小内裤脱掉了,这样他就看不到我的小内裤了! '
(勇敢直率、敢做敢为的白羊)
金牛座
卖瓜小贩:' 快来吃西瓜,不甜不要钱! '
饥渴的牛牛: ' 哇!太好了,老板,来个不甜的!'
(持家、想出轨又顾全自己的金牛)
双子座
妈妈叫双双起床: ' 快点起来!公鸡都叫好几遍了!'
双双说: '公鸡叫和我有什么关系?我又不是母鸡! '
(自我意识强烈、自行思维的双子)
巨蟹座
公车上,蟹蟹说: '今晚我要和妈妈睡! '
妈妈问道:' 你将来娶了媳妇也和妈妈睡阿? '
蟹蟹不假思索:' 嗯! '
妈妈又问: ' 那你媳妇怎么办? '
蟹蟹想了半天,说:' 好办,让她跟爸爸睡! '
妈妈: ' !@#$%︿&*(……—'
再看爸爸,已经热泪盈眶啦!
(恋母情结、依恋的巨蟹)
狮子座
狮狮去参加奶奶的寿宴。到了吃寿包的时候,狮狮问:' 我们为什么要吃这种像屁股的寿包?'
众人听了脸色大变。
接著狮狮拨开寿包,看看里面的豆沙,说:' 奶奶,快看!里面还有大便! '
众人晕的晕,吐的吐。
(以自我感受、不怕旁人眼光的骄傲的狮子)
处女座
处处对肚脐很好奇,就问爸爸。
爸爸把脐带连著胎儿与母体的道理简单地讲了一下,说:'婴儿离开母体之后,医生把脐带减断,并打了一个结,後来就成了肚脐。 '
处处: '那医生为什么不打个蝴蝶结? '
(好奇心强又追求完美的处女)
天秤座
父亲对天天说: ' 今天不要上学了,昨晚...你妈给你生了两个弟弟。你给老师说一下就行了。'
天天却回答:' 爸爸,我只说生了一个;另一个,我想留著下星期不想上时再说! '
(聪明、权衡利弊的天平)
天蠍座
蠍蠍刚睡著,就叫蚊子叮了一口。
他起来赶蚊子,却怎么也赶不出去。没法,便指著蚊子说: '好吧,你不出去我出去! ' 边说边出了房间,把门使劲关严得意地说:'
哼!我今晚不进屋,非把你饿死不可!'
(搞不懂、不按常理出牌的天蝎)
射手座
射射: ' 爸爸,为什么你有那么多白头发?'
爸爸: '因为你不乖,所以爸爸有好多白头发阿。 '
射射:…… (疑惑中)
射射: '那为什么爷爷全部都是白头发? '
爸爸:!@#$%︿&*(……
(喜欢思考的射手)
摩羯座
一天,羯羯跟妈妈上街;走在路上,突然下起雨来。
妈妈拉过羯羯的小手,说:' 下雨了,快往前跑阿! '
羯羯慢条斯理地问: ' 那前面就不下雨喽!? '
(明白现实懒得改变的摩羯)
水瓶座
瓶瓶问妈妈: ' 问什么称蒋先生为『先人』? '
妈妈说: ' 因为 ' 先人 ' 是对死去的人的称呼。 '
瓶瓶说: ' 那去世的奶奶是不是要叫『鲜奶』?'
(天生的另类、脑筋思考永远和常人不一样的水瓶)
双鱼座
爸爸给鱼鱼讲小时候经常挨饿的事。
听完後,鱼鱼两眼含泪,十分同情地问:' 哦,爸爸,你是因为没饭吃才来我们家的吗? '
(富含丰富同情心、不分情况对象的双鱼)
Joke about Ah Beng On Leave!
Ah mute signal why Ah Beng isn't at work.
Ah beng than look around and gathered some leaves under the tree and stand on them. He look at Ah Mute and pointed down at the leaves.
Ah Mute is now confused..
Later Ah Sian pass by and saw Ah Beng standing on the leaves.
Ah mute than signal Ah Sian on what is Ah Beng trying to say..
Ah sian than type down in his handphone and show it to Ah Mute.
"Aiyo so simple, Ah Beng Is On Leave!"
Big Computer Virus Coming! PLEASE read!
You should be alert during the next few days.
Do not open any message with an attachment entitled 'POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK', regardless of who sent it to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which 'burns' the whole hard disc (C drive) of your computer. This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is the reason why you need to send this e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it.
If you receive a mail called 'POSTCARD,' even though sent to you by a friend, do not open it! Shut down your computer immediately.
This is the worst virus announced by CNN. It has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept.
Jokes to start off your day!
Ah Lian asked Shopkeeper: Ay Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh?
Ah Chek: Lu siao ah! Stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to 'nee' (breast) one.
Story 2*
Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show it to her. So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend. 'This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!'
'Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!' said Ah Lian.
'Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!'
So Ah Lian said, 'Let me try! I wan, I wan!'
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the accelerator.
The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post.
'Alamak! What U doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang he!' screamed Ah Beng.
'Solee, solee, pai sei lah! No lah, I tot hor, 'R' for racing mah!'*
Story 3*
The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats.
So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.
To the British he said. 'You must act like gentlemen.' They jumped.
To the Americans he said, 'You can be heroes.' They complied.
To the Germans he said, 'It's the rule.' They obeyed.
To the Japanese he said,' It's the consensus.' They obliged.
Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal: 'Free life jackets for those who jumped.'*
Story 4*
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian are at the army supply base to collect underwear. The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah?
Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many?
Ah! Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
Sergeant: (Malay recruit) He Mat! How many underwear?
Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen!
Sergeant: (curious) How come six?
Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei?
Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for?
Tambi: January, February, March.....One month one.*
Story 5*
Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted the DJ to play the song 'Ah Cheng Buey Ro It' (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread). The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a bigfuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down. Finally, after long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that Ah Bengs actually asking for the song 'Unchained Melody' by the Righteous Brothers.*
Story 6*
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from th e 20th storey and want to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, 'Wah low!!!, how you know one?' The first Ah Lian reply smugly, 'Easy lah.. G for Gero mah...' *
Story 7*
Santa Singh (remember him?) just graduated from Law school and decided to apply for a job in the most prestigious 'Lee & Lee Law Firm'
During the interview, Mr. Lee KY looked at Santa Singh's resume, thinks for a while and said, 'Well, I would need to discuss your application with my wife.'
And went off to discuss Santa's application with his wife. Lee KY's wife said, 'C'mon, don't you know that we only hire lawyers with surnames beginning with 'Lee' only? Of course, we can't hire Santa Singh!'
So Lee KY told the bad news to Santa Singh about his rejection.
Few days later, Santa Singh came back to the same company and request for another interview and Lee KY said, 'Look Santa, I have already told you that we only hire.......' when Santa Singh interrupted him and said, 'I know, I know. I have just changed my name.
Lee K Y looked at Santa Singh in surprise and asked , 'What is your new name then?'
On this, Santa Singh replied, 'Surname Lee, Last name, Manga!' (Manga-Lee)
9 words women use!
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3. Then you RUN!
Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
Is Your Mind & Thinking Compatible with Your Age?
Try this to find out:-
http://www.mathsking.net/test/think.htm
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Guys' Rules
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do somethingOr tell us how you want it done.Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not wor th the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!